Hello, I'm new here, so apologies in advance if I'm not doing anything properly. I wanted to get some advice because I have no one else to talk to right now. Also, sorry this is so long. To anyone who does get through it and can give their thoughts, I'd really appreciate it.Background info: My boyfriend (M) and I are in the process of moving into our new apartment. Until the apartment is sorted, he is in the meantime staying at a hotel, and I at my parent's. We started works on Saturday and we still have a fair amount to do. M has brought over lots of furniture from his old place, which he shared with his business partner and ex-girlfriend, R (they were broken up then, but remained good friends, and consequently became cohabitants). They are both over a decade older than me and from Sweden, whereas I'm from the UK. Their apt was here in London; he moved here first, she followed after, before she returned to their home country. Eventually M and I met here.R is a glamorous, extravagant woman (she's in fashion) and did all the decorating at their old place. Lots of pretty stuff like floral tea cups, cute mirrors and frames, fancy drawers and cabinets with no practical purpose other than to just make the place look nice- to give you some idea. The girlier side of me definitely appreciates R's doll-house, vintage, boutique-esque aesthetic, but overall, it's not what I want for what is to be M's and my new home. So, other than some things that M and/or I really like, the old stuff will either be donated, sold or given to R.Incident: So today M and I finished up at the apartment for the day and headed over to his hotel. I decided I'd stay with him tonight. Whilst cuddling in bed, M's phone goes off with a dozen message notifications. He checks it out and shows me a picture that R had sent to him of one of the mirrors that she said she wanted. Fine by me, it's all hers. She also sent a whole bunch of photos of different parts of their old apartment. It looked nice. But something didn't sit right with me and I asked M why she was sending those apartment pictures. He said he didn't know. I asked if he had requested them (maybe for new apt inspiration?), to which is he said no. I asked again "so why is she sending those?", and again he said he did not know. Then he translates to me a msg (wasn't in English) she had sent alongside those apt pics, it read "What a beautiful home we had 😍". And for some reason I got upset by that. I didn't say anything, just turned over to my side of the bed. He asked me what was wrong. I just said "you guys are so weird". (I'd said the same in the past once during an argument after a minor incident made me feel uncomfortable with M and R's friendship). A few minutes later M said "look, this was her room". I think this was him attempting to reassure me that they didn't share a room/bed when they were living together. His effort was misplaced because I wasn't upset about them living together, or even possibly sharing a bed, but what R had just messaged M.I tried to calm down, but after 10-15 minutes I hadn't, so decided it best to get dressed and leave. M questioned me as to why I was going but otherwise made little effort to get me to stay. I called his half-arsed "please don't go" pathetic, but I don't think he understood what I meant.Dilemma: I want to ask you guys what you think about R sending those pics with that msg. How would you have felt? What is it that I'm feeling-jealousy, insecurity, annoyance?Additional info: Shortly after M and I got together, I met R on one of their business trips. She was nice enough. I believe I was cordial to her and the rest of their team. I was still only just meeting his social circles and had no reason to not dislike anyone, including R.A year later, I see R several times when I visit M in his country. She made no effort to talk to me. If she said hi, she never looked at me and said it. Even her infamously stand-offish sister was friendlier to me than the more sociable R. When I became unwell during one trip, all of R's friends made sure I was ok, but R herself didn't come near me. I'm obviously not entitled to her time and attention, but I think a little effort to be nice wouldn't have gone amiss. I did mention to M that I got the impression R didn't like me, but he didn't agree and said I was "thinking too much again". My brain took note of how R was behaving around me then, and now with tonight's incident, I don't really like R anymore. via /r/relationship_advice https://ift.tt/2TTjDfG
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