Even Open Relationships Have Rules

Long time lurker, felt weird about posting since the relationship ended a while ago but I do still have healing to do from it.I'm on mobile. Will try for the best formatting possible.Characters:Me, F C - the man I was dating G - the older woman he was seeing (30)I started dating C when we were 19/20 respectively.It was orginally a Dom/Sub relationship, and I ignored some red flags (like dosing me with Viagra) and we quickly moved from D/S to a BF/GF bdsm friendly relationship.I was so in love with this man. So much so I kept overlooking some red flags that were kind of major (he liked to get sexual with women while they were asleep, and has multiple pictures taken of me in compromsing positions while sleeping, taken without consent), and began sacrificing a lot of my energy to keep HIS house clean, acting like a house wife when I didn't even live there, even decorating his home for him during Halloween and Christmas. We had plans to move in together, and get married.Fast forward a lot and things got weird. He had already graduated and I was close behind, so he went and got a job in his field and quickly found out that he had a sleeping disorder. This greatly impacted his ability to work and he was spending more than came in so he had a small debt problem. He started the hunt for a new job.He met a woman, G, and she told him she would get him a job if he slept with her. I'm Bi and was already thinking about possibly having a temp open relationship but never brought it up, so we discussed it and I said "Fine, but there are rules to this."Rule 1 - No fucking in our (his) bed 2 - No pet names we call each other 3 - Honesty 4 - When one of us says stop, we stop.About 3 months in, I got a feeling that shit wasn't going above board. Mostly because he never changed companies, but still spoke to her all the time. He also started making time for other friends on top of our pre planned nights together. I finally said I wasn't comfortable anymore.That should have been that.Me and G stayed in communication and I was fine with her as a person, but soon I had a feeling.He was distracted, would text her constantly, all the while I'm cleaning his house and cleaning after the cats, entertaining his friends. He forgot dates more, was more emotional, we fought more.One day I saw scratches clear as day on his back. He blamed on his grappling buddy.V dsy week comes up, I've tried ignoring everything and going back to normal. I stopped seeing G because the vibe I was getting was less "friend" and more "trying to woo" me. She gave me expensive presents, I never gave her anything back.Her birthday was the week of VDay, which was not a good date night for me and c. A few days later he asks if he can go to G's party. For one in my time during their weird relationship, I said No. Flat out and with no compromise. He started getting upset, she apparently was mad, he said she was his best friend right now and it would hurt her for him to not be there for her bday. I said I didn't care, he finally relented.Cue 4 hours later Im home from work, and I get messages from her. Screenshots.Of their convos, them naked together, them in her bed together, him naked. he texts showed that he broke every rule we originally had the week we made them, fucking her in our bed, calling her my nicknames, etc.He also never stopped when I asked him, and they had met up recently. Their plan in her befriending me was to turn us into a triad. I was devastated. 3 years down the drain, because I was too stupid to realize what was happening, and who he turned me into.Thts it. Just sharing the story. I stopped asking for advice a while ago. via /r/survivinginfidelity https://ift.tt/3mBplPC