Throwaway, on mobile, yada yada yada.WIBTA if I (25F) got upset and finally put my foot down over MIL and Bf (24M) putting up our Christmas tree without me?Context: Bf and I have been together for 8 years, since high school. We now own a home together but are in no rush to get married and have kids. He likes things a particular way and I am a very "go with the flow" type person, which sometimes makes us clash but usually we compliment each other. Bf has always had a complicated relationship with his parents. His dad is an alcoholic, his mom had terrible post-partum depression after he and his sister were born 18 months apart, and was a very absent and cold mother. Like, no hugs, no "I love you", no comfort whatsoever. He can't remember being hugged by either of his parents. His parents are in a loveless marriage of convenience, and would fight often and loudly. Bf moved out when he was in high school, and while their relationship is kind of atypical, it's functional.The dilemma: one thing my Bf and MIL have been able to bond over is their shared love of Christmas. Specifically decorating for Christmas. As long as I've known him, Bf has always had an immaculately decorated Christmas tree. When he lived at home, it was in his bedroom, and now we have a very expensive, large tree to put up in our formal (fancy) living room. After Bf moved out of his parents' house, one thing that helped rebuild his relationship with his mom was her coming over to help decorate his tree. And I mean, they're super fucking anal about everything. The lights, what ornaments they buy to go with what colour scheme, how the tree is fluffed, etc. The thing that hurts my feelings is that they don't even trust me to hang ornaments or tinsel or anything. I literally end up just running them water and crawling around on the ground under the tree to plug in the lights.Every time I try and pick up an ornament, one of them will say "not there" or "let me do that". It's just very different than the trees that I would put up at my parents house that were covered in hand made ornaments and 15 year old tinsel and an angel older than me for the top of the tree. Nothing matched, but it was all full of love and we had a great time putting it up and being together. The tree that MIL and Bf put up is beautiful, but totally impersonal and austere.WIBTA if I finally put my foot down and told him how shitty it makes me feel? I know that it seems pretty trivial, but it really changes the way I look forward to Christmas and it hurts my feelings to be brushed aside like that every year and have someone else decorate my Christmas tree. I've passively mentioned it before in years past and he's said "You're just not as good at it as us", which kind of hurt my feelings more. On the other hand, it's one of the few things that my Bf can really relate to his mom about and I wouldn't want to fuck with that relationship cause it's worlds better than the toxicity of his childhood, even if I think its a little weird and I feel left out. via /r/AmItheAsshole https://ift.tt/3pgrlij
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