This has been by far one of the toughest years for me mentally. Between COVID, a moving situation, being a newly wed, an uncertain job schedule - still fully employed there’s just been lots of shifts so stability of the day to day isn’t there, and now I’m being tested for cancer and/or a blood disorder. I’m stressed out to the max.I’ve been in therapy for a little over a year and a half now for anxiety and we’re working through my problems slowly but surely (COVID hasn’t helped).One of my biggest issues is shopping to feel good about myself. The high of getting a great deal on something and the whole “fantasy self/life” thing is a real problem for me.I don’t really have an issue disposing of most items (there’s some stuff I do struggle with), but honestly every time something leaves something else comes in. My main issue right now is craft supplies and my ever increasing need to procure and collect is becoming a real challenge. I’ve mostly managed to wrangle in my yarn problem - I crochet - but I have issues when there are great sales and hobby lobby’s annual yarn markdown (which is right now). I want the high of purchasing the yarn - I don’t need more yarn - I have more projects on the go right now than I can hope to finish in the next like 5 years. I don’t have anywhere to put more yarn so I’m just not doing it despite how hard it is for me.My other issue is cross stitch patterns and floss. I love buying the patterns and the floss and the fabric for the projects. I’m a slow stitcher and the projects are mounting up as is the amount of space they take up. I’m pretty much at my breaking point.Seasonal decor, entertaining serve ware, and general home decor are also a problem. I want the elaborately decorated home and the simple look at the same time though those are obviously competing styles. The result is a cluttered mishmash of stuff and things and not really what I want, and my home still feels unfinished.I don’t know how to stop using shopping as a means to fill the hole inside of me. I don’t know how to achieve the home I want. I don’t know how to stop comparing my life and home to those picturesque homes on Pinterest, Instagram, etc. And I don’t know how to appreciate something and just like it without feeling the compulsion to go out and by the yarn to create that exact project, or buy that pattern and floss and stitch up the same cross stitch.I need help and advice before this turns into a hoarding issue. (And yes I’m already talking to my therapist about this, but because of COVID our appointments are severely reduced so it’s hard to stay accountable and remember what we’ve worked on and keep at it when the temptation is high.)Any help to advice would be very much appreciated. I want to have control over myself and my stuff, and not have it control me. via /r/declutter https://ift.tt/3n9xCKR
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