My (25 F) boyfriend (29 M) and I have been together for 10 months. He’s a great guy. We say “I love you”, he’s caring, thoughtful, and enjoys showing me that he loves me.I live with one roommate (23 F) who I have become pretty close with. Due to covid, we’ve both been home a lot and my boyfriend is with me a good amount of time. We’ve had a handful of drunk nights together. One drunk night a couple of months ago, I got pretty upset. It was just the three of us hanging out and I felt like my roommate was really bidding for my boyfriends attention, and he was biting. At first it wasn’t terrible. She kept asking him what music he liked and they went back and forth for a while recommending music to each other and joking back and forth. Then we sat down to play games and they suddenly got super playful and competitive with each other. They were pushing each other around, making each other laugh, and joking around when one of them would beat the other. After a while it started feeling like I wasn’t even in the room, even though I was just as engaged and vocal in the conversations. I got upset enough that I finally got up and just started getting ready for bed.My boyfriend could tell immediately that something was wrong and I told him that I felt like I just watched he and roommate flirt for two hours straight. I told him that I really tried not feeling that way and considering that they just get along well, which I would prefer over them not getting along at all. But that it started going a little too far after a while. He listened, understood, apologized for making me feel that way, and insisted that he doesn’t have any feelings like that for her, they were just having fun, and he only wants me.His apology felt sincere and I felt reassured that I didn’t have anything to worry about, and the issue was resolved as far as I was concerned.Fast forward to a month or so. We had one other friend over for a Covid-friendly night of games and drinking and it started happening again. At one point, the friend started recording my roommate and boyfriend singing/rapping along to a song they both know and the friend exclaimed “I’m so glad I caught that on video! Y’all were rapping to each other so intimately!”. I immediately felt myself sinking into my anxieties and away from the night and couldn’t let go of the feeling that they were flirting with each other right in front of me all over again.We were drunk enough that night that I didn’t bring it up right away. I brought it up the next morning. I told him that I was trying to convince myself that it was nothing, but my feelings felt validated when I had evidence that I wasn’t the only one noticing. He still listened and expressed that he was trying to see the situation through my eyes, though he didn’t remember the friend’s comment. He again insisted that there is nothing intended and that he doesn’t feel that way toward her. I again accepted and that was the end of it.This past weekend was her birthday. When my birthday happened the week before, roommate and bf planned a dinner for me with both of them and surprise me with coffee and gifts in the morning. Bf and I tried planning something similar for roommate’s birthday, but she ended up wanting to change the plans. We did so, but still had gifts, decorations, and two boxes of cookies from her favorite cookie place to surprise her with on her birthday.My boyfriend woke me up early on the morning of her birthday saying “I know you’re tired, but do you wanna go out there and wish roommate a happy birthday?” When I said that I did, but just a little bit later, he got noticeably upset and said that he felt like it was on him that we didn’t have more planned for the day for her. When I asked him why he felt like that was on him, he just kept saying “I don’t know”.I feel confident that nothing has physically happened between them, and I feel confident that my boyfriend isn’t doing it intentionally, but it’s uncomfortable for me to watch and it makes me anxious as I have seen something like this happening before and it ended up that the two people were actually having an affair.My roommate has had a rough year. She was with a guy for about 9 months that she really really fell for and he broke up with her and quit talking to her cold turkey out of the blue. I know she’s had a really hard time with that and really misses him and their relationship. I don’t know if that has anything to do with the way that she’s acting, but I’m just trying to give her any excuse as to why she would be comfortable acting that way in front of me as I consider her a close friend.Am I overreacting to this? The last thing I want to do is ruin a good relationship and a good friendship for nothing.TL;DR - Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend and roommate are flirting, and he seemed very hung up on her birthday, but I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. via /r/relationships https://ift.tt/36ACu5d
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