Friday, November 13, 2020

I don't know where I am.


Hi my name is Rachael. I don’t know if you’ll be able to see this, but I hope it reaches someone. This is a warning. Do not drive roads you don’t know at night. You might get stuck. You might never see real daylight again. You might end up like me.I don’t know where I am. I don’t know how to leave. I need help.I have always been the kind of person that craves adventure. I love to explore new areas and haunted spaces. When I was driving around one night to see what trouble I could get myself into I turned onto a street I had never gone down. Come to think of it, I had never even noticed this road before. I often drive around alone without directions to find cool places I can drop a pin in and bring my friends back to later. When I drove into this area I didn’t see anything worth exploring so I decided to leave. That was almost a month ago. I think.I can see the time passing on my phone. My phone battery doesn’t change. My gas level in my car doesn’t change. The sun never comes up. The stars never move. But the clock does. I know time is passing, but all I can do is watch it.The first night, before I knew what I do now, I drove around for hours to find a road that leads out. I never found one. I just keep ending up where I started. I’m driving in circles. I even tried to find the road at exactly the same time I drove in on it. It doesn’t exist.My friends think I’m joking. I tried sending my friend Amanda my location when I first realized I was lost. She said I was at home. We went back and forth for a long time. I gave up when she sent me a picture of my location on her phone. I was at home.That first night I swear I must have knocked on every door in this neighborhood. Nobody came to the door. I figured it was too late. I mean, I wouldn’t answer a knock on the door at 2:00am either. So I waited for the sun to come up, but it never did. It took me 2 days to realize that there were never any lights on in any house. There was never another car on the road. There was never anything.It took me another day to try to open a door. I was surprised when it wasn’t locked, but at the same time I knew it wouldn’t be locked. Does that even make any sense? I don’t know. I don’t know much of anything anymore. You would think that when you’re in a situation where nothing makes sense anyway you would start to believe anything. It’s amazing how much I am more I am holding onto my beliefs of the world when it’s all shattering around me. It’s like every time something that doesn’t make sense happens I try harder and harder to fit that thing into a box that makes sense to me.When I entered the first house I was amazed. It wasn’t empty - as i expected it to be. It was beautiful. White leather furniture couches, glass tables, silver hardware. The kitchen was fully white. The marble counters matching the marble floors. It was as if I had walked into my dream home. The cabinets and fridge were fully stocked. I finally had food that wasn’t the months old granola bars and water that I kept in the back of my car. What first struck me as odd, before I found the food, though is there was no TV, no computer, no outlets in the walls. There weren’t even light fixtures. It was like the only thing in the house that had power at all was the fridge. Even so, I was completely comfortable in this house, like all the fear that had been building up in my body was gone. It took me longer than I would like to admit to realize why. There was sunlight streaming through the windows. I couldn’t rationalize it, and honestly, at that moment I didn’t even care. I dropped to the floor in front of the closest window and cried. It wasn’t real though. The sunlight was cold. Colder even than the darkness. I didn’t care though, at least it felt closer to normality. I stayed in the house for hours. Mostly crying.When I finally went back outside I cast back into total darkness. The fear returned when the darkness did.I don’t know why I didn’t just stay in the house. I should’ve. I wish I had. As soon as the door shut behind me I heard the deadbolt click into place. I desperately tried to get back into the house. When I say desperately, I mean Desperately. I tried ramming the door, I tried breaking the windows, I considered driving my car through the house, but I knew nothing I did would get me back there. Nothing would get me back to the safety I felt while in there, nothing would get me back to food and sunlight.That night was the worst to this point. I had been sleeping in my car whenever I could convince my body that it would be ok. Which wasn’t often. That night I didn’t sleep at all. I just drove around in circles trying to leave.It took me days to try another house. Which was also open. This house was decorated differently, but was the same. No TV. No computers. No outlets. All the food I could want. And sunlight. It was in this house that I checked my snapchat. I had been obsessively checking my map to see where I was, how far away from home I was, a road that would lead out. There was never anything. Finally I decided to just check in on my friends. I had been gone for days, surely someone was looking for me, surely there was something. I clicked on my best friend’s story and felt like I couldn’t breathe. Staring back at me from my phone screen was my whole friend group, together, smiling. There, in the middle of the picture was me. Smiling back at me, arm draped around my best friend. I couldn’t grasp what was happening.I have hopped from house to house for a while now. I learned pretty quickly that I couldn’t stay in one house for too long. I couldn’t sleep in the houses. I couldn’t sleep with the sunlight pouring in. I really only go in a house now to gather food and shower.I don’t know if this will reach anyone. My social media won’t let me post. I’m just watching someone else live my life.I don’t know where I am. I don’t know how to leave. I need help. via /r/spoopycjades https://ift.tt/32Jja4k

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