ten twenty1

anywaydoc told us let’s get that baby out laying there with cold jelly on my belly look at you like whoa man this is happening doc asks hope you packed that bag i said you’d need i lie and say yeahhh i did it’s a late afternoon and drove separate i think. because i was working double time to keep my hours at work. i was so stressed this pregnancy. i never felt fully needed to rested. i woke up every night since the beginning either to barf or pee. i felt everything with this one. from the beginning to the end when the epidural didn’t work. but i did it. the pain wasn’t bad and when he was put in my arms i cried. that’s fast forwarding though. we drove back from the appointment and back home. it was a week til the due date. and we were being induced that friday night. it’s funny as i type this, it’s 7pm and he says “mom!!!!! i’m tired, bed time peeeeease!!” anyways. we scrambled to get a car seat because the one i ordered wasn’t in til tomorrow. funny how that works out. stressed at target but also at peace because you kissed me at checkout. an hour in triage and checked into our room. and you just made me so comfortable. you’re like let’s watch this show. you should get some rest. and i remember seeing you to the left of the bed with the skyline in the back. it makes sense when he was in the hospital that week i stared at the skyline every morning. anyway. i haven’t been able to breathe this week. i’ve done the decorations this year and he’s happy about them. but i can’t breathe every year that you weren’t here. you’re supposed to be here because he was screaming after he was born and you saidhey buddy hey it’s me daddy hey i’m here hey buddyand he stopped ducking crying in that rotisserie heating thing for babies. and from the delivery room to the afternoon (?) room you held him. i ate my sandwich, drank my apple juice and you held him and he knew your voice that this is my dad.it’s his fourth birthday where the fck are you. aren’t you here. what is stopping you. via /r/offmychest https://ift.tt/31M9Ex9