SCRIPT: It’s Halloween and the gang has a special visitor at their yearly Halloween soirée.

GUILLERMO IS PUTTING UP HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS.Guillermo (Interview): Halloween is a special time for everyone. Every year Nandor, Nadja and Laszlo throw a party for the local vampire community where the vampires show up dressed as human caricatures in a sort of reversal of Halloween norms.NANDOR IS IN HIS ROOM DRESSED UP AS LARRY BIRD. HE PICKS UP A BASKETBALL AND FAILS TO SPIN IT ON HIS FINGERTIP DESPITE TRYING TO DO SO WITH HIS POWERS.Guillermo (Interview): It doesn’t bother me as a human. I know how it feels to be discriminated against and can sympathize with the vampires. Though sometimes their costumes are...a little off.NADJA AND LASZLO ARE IN THEIR ROOM DRESSED AS A TYPICAL MIDWESTERN AMERICAN BOOMER COUPLE.Laszlo (Interview): poor midwestern accent Howdy there! My name is Hugh Johnson! I sell dental insurance in Des Moines, Iowa.Nadja (Interview): poor midwestern accent And I’m Cindy Johnson! I’m just a normal midwestern housewife that loves...making potato salad and-normal accent Laszlo, these characters are major turnoffs. There’s no way I’ll want to have sex with you as Hugh Johnson.Laszlo (Interview): normal accent Yes you’re quite right, my lovely. Cindy Johnson is deflating my johnson.NADJA SHOOTS LASZLO A FURIOUS LOOK.GUILLERMO IS PUTTING OUT PUMPKINS OUTSIDE IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE.Guillermo (Interview): Of course not all vampires enjoy Halloween.Colin Robinson (Interview): Well Halloween tends to make feeding on human energy a little difficult. When people are in costume it usually makes them more animated and less connected to their normal, vulnerable human personalities. Don’t even get me started on all the “sexy” costume groups. Can barely get a drop out of energy them. It’s like I’m not even there.Guillermo (Interview): Personally what I’m most excited about this evening is the yearly turning. Every year one familiar that is brought to the party gets chosen to be turned into a vampire by their master. Which is why I decided to make myself look extra...delectable...this year.GUILLERMO STANDS UP FROM HIS BED AND SHOWS OFF HIS COSTUME. HE’S DRESSED AS A GIANT BLOOD BAG.Guillermo (Interview): Hoping this will finally drive the point home to Nandor.THE DOORBELL RINGS. GUILLERMO WALKS TO THE FRONT DOOR AND OPENS IT. STANDING IN THE DOORWAY IS A TALL, PALE MAN WITH LONG DARK HAIR AND A BEARD. HE IS WEARING ARMOR WITH FANCY ROBES.Guillermo: Oh hello. Are you here for the party?Vampire: Easter European accent I am.Guillermo: Wonderful. Well you’re a little early and you...don’t seem to be wearing a human costume.Vampire: The great Vlad does not need to hide his true form.Guillermo: I’m sorry...Vlad?Vampire: Yes. However you may know me better as...Vlad The Impaler.GUILLERMO LOOKS AWESTRUCK.cue opening theme via /r/WhatWeDointheShadows https://ift.tt/38cq9GP