Keeping up with Mom. In the days leading up to the event mom had said she started a new medication Cyroquil. My fiancé had experience with this medication, and knew it could make her tired and make her act strange. My mother has a low threshold for seizures, she’s had them in the past and is on anti seizure medication. Two days before the event, I told her she was acting strange. She said it was her new medication, and she would half the dose the next day. The next day she still was acting strange, so she decided to stop taking it all together. That next day, the day she didn’t take that medication, was the day of the event.Wednesday, 21st of October 2020. The Event. Wednesday was class day. I had forgotten about it and didn’t show up for my morning class. Brian called and wanted to hang out, so he came over. Mom and Masey were messaging and Mom asked us to come hang out with her. We all went over there. Mom was still acting strange. Masey even asked if she had actually stopped taking that medication. Mom said she had. After Brian left, my afternoon class was about to start. I was planning on leaving and doing it at home, but Mom seemed to want us to stay and Masey didn’t seem to mind so I just did my class there. Mom, Masey, and I were all talking about normal stuff. Being excited for vape pens, talking about her taking the car the next day so she can do some running around. Normal stuff. She had gotten up and was walking around doing normal stuff, messing with cat things and such. At 1400 on the dot, she sat down on the couch, and I don’t remember what we were talking about. But mid-sentence it seemed like she fell asleep. I heard snoring, and at first I chuckled. Then I turned to look and her arms and legs were sticking out and she was shaking a bit. I shook her arms and called out for her, Masey ran over and did the same. She came back and said she was just asleep. She suddenly said she felt tired and needed to stretch out. I moved so she could and got her a blanket, but she couldn’t get her legs up on the couch. I asked her if she was ok. She said she was just tired, and was trying to get us to leave. I didn’t want to. I told her I think we need to take her to the doctor.I’ll never forget what happened after that. She made this groaning noise, like I had annoyed her. But her head was cocked forward, staring. Her neck locked forward, she craned her head to look at me, her eyes not moving. I asked if she was ok. Her eyes rolled back and she began to shake. I told Masey to call an ambulance. I thought to myself, “You got to be cool, Vick.” Mom raised her right arm tightly against her right cheek, the left corner of her lips stuck straight out to the left. She grimaced and wined like she was in pain. I called to her but she didn’t change. While Masey was on the phone with the ambulance, Mom suddenly stopped. She went limp, she stopped breathing. I lost my cool. I couldn’t hear anything; I was just screaming. Masey told me she needed to hear her chest to talk to the person on the phone, I couldn’t stop screaming. So she told me to go outside and guide the medics in. I ran outside and a firetruck was out front. I guided them in, and Masey was struggling to get mom off the couch so she could start compressions. Me and a medic pulled the table out of the room, while 2 other medics pulled mom flat on the floor. They checked her, she had no pulse. They used a defibrillator, still no pulse. They began compressions, then attached an auto compression machine. They lifted her onto a cart, and intubated her. They got her in the ambulance and took her to Baptist Health in Fort Smith. From the time her heart stopped, to the time they began trying to defibrillate her, it was maybe 5 minutes. It was maybe 3 minutes more until they started compressions. It was 15-20 minutes that her heart was stopped, until it was stable again at the hospital. Masey and I drove up there. We beat the ambulance. I had to wait out front while they arrived, and unloaded her, and checked her in. She was in room 1. I was allowed into the family waiting room, I was by myself. I spoke with Masey on the phone the whole time. About 2 hours of waiting, they let me know she’s alive. About 4 hours of waiting, they said they were going to clean her up and let me come see her. At 6 hours of waiting, they let me back. They told me she was having seizures while she was awake, and suffered cardiac arrest. They had her sedated to stop the seizures. But they didn’t have the equipment needed to test her properly. So they wanted to air lift her to the Baptist Health in Little Rock. I consented to the air lift, and they let me see her. She was completely still. She had one eye open, it looked glazed over, like someone who’s blind. She had a tube hooked to a vent. So many wires. A defibrillator attached just in case. It seemed impossible, that just earlier that day we were talking about something so mundane, I don’t even remember what it was. I don’t remember the last conversation we had. They air lifted her out, and Masey and I took off for Little Rock after them. I stupidly brought the grinder Brian was letting mom use, the black metal pipe Tequilla’s mom gave me, and the jar Mom used to keep her weed in, with about an 1/8th of weed. I put it in the glove box, I did it right in front of Masey and told her I did it. I shouldn’t have put it in the glove box, that was stupid of me. We stopped in Ozark for gas, Masey reached into the glove box to get a mask, and didn’t notice the weed in there. She left the glove box open and I told her to close it, she noticed the weed and closed it. We got gas and left. Not too far down the interstate we get pulled over. The officer asked for insurance or registration for Mom’s car, and Masey opens the glove box. She gets arrested for her warrant, and gets the drug charge. I find out I have a suspended license, but the cop lets me take the car with expired tags to Little Rock. They tell me to take off, I gave Masey her phone and kissed her, and I left. Masey got to keep her phone, so she texted me while she was in the car and in holding. I drove to Little Rock, and Mom was still in the emergency room there. They allowed 1 visitor, so I came back to see her. This time both of her eyes were closed, and they were doing some sort of chest scan. This emergency room seemed to have more equipment, there wasn’t much room for me to stand around or sit. I stayed with her until they took her to the ICU. They told me there were no visitors there, so once she was moved I couldn’t see her. They told me she would be there several days while they ran tests to see what was going on. I couldn’t see mom, possibly for several days, I had to take care of Masey. I had our cats and Mom’s cats to take care of. So I left Little Rock, and went back to Fort Smith. Thursday 22nd of October 2020. The Day After. I went back to Mom’s place after coming back from Little Rock. I cleaned up her apartment, so it wouldn’t look messy when she got back home. I started calling bail bonds places for Masey. We had some trouble but ended up with someone who could get her out. Once I picked up Masey, we went back to our apartment. It was time to start updating family. I called Grampa Glen and told him what was going on. He had Lizzy give me her number and they asked me to text them with updates. I made a Facebook Messenger chat group and a group text message to keep people updated. David (Marlene’s Husband) gave me her number so I added her to the group text. I got on Mom’s phone and messaged Samantha, asking her to call me. When Samantha called, I updated her on what’s been going on and added her to the group text. The hospital let me add myself as a contact and make a password for updates. The nurses told me she was still sedated and stable, and they were waiting on tests. They ran a CT scan that day.Friday 23rd of October 2020. The next day they told me they took her off sedation to see if she would open her eyes, she did. They then put her back on and said they would run some more tests and see how things go. They said the next day they would take her off sedation and see how she does awake.Saturday 24th of October 2020. They took her off sedation at 0730 and she didn’t wake up. She wasn’t responding to anything. They told me that sometimes it can take a day or two for sedation to really wear off, so we just needed to give it more time.Sunday 25th of October 2020. The nurses continued to tell me she was stable but not awake.Monday 26th of October 2020. I still hadn’t spoken to a doctor, so I asked the nurse if a doctor could call me, they said they would page them to give me a call. There were no changes with Mom.Tuesday 27th of October 2020. The doctor still hasn’t called so I called the nurses again. The nurse told me that it was because I wasn’t listed as the contact on her chart, just at the nurse’s desk. So she added me and told me the doctor would call. They said they had the MRIs back but the results weren’t in the notes and they couldn’t read MRIs.Wednesday 28th of October 2020. I called and spoke to the nurse again. The nurse said she had an anoxic brain injury and she was in a coma. She said that they don’t expect her to wake up, and that a supportive doctor would be calling me to make arrangements to come see her. The doctor called later and said the same the nurse said. Masey insisted home health was possible, but I didn’t think it would be if she’s in a coma. We setup an appointment to come see Mom the next day.Thursday 27th of October 2020. Masey and I went up to the hospital in Little Rock to see mom. Beth, Nick, Aerith, and Amithyst were there as well. I expected mom to be still, dead stare. Nothing there, nothing to bring home. I was ready to let them pull the plug, and I think the family expected that as well. When Masey, Beth, and I rounded the corner, Mom’s eyes were open. She was chewing on the vent tube, and rolling her tounge. Her eyes were rolling around. Her legs and arms were tensing. When someone called her name or touched her, she would tense up like she recognized it.We had our meeting with the doctor. They said she would never be the same as she was. She might never get better than she is now. They showed me the MRI scans, the part of her brain that controls things like sight, feel, movement, its swollen. As the swelling goes down that part of the brain should improve function. It won’t get back to 100%, but maybe she’ll be able to breathe, move, communicate on her own. From hearing them say she’ll never wake up, to seeing her wake up, and clearly seeing more healing to be done. I know it’ll be hard, I know we’ll never do the same things, or follow through with our old plans. She’ll never be AS happy as she was. But I just hope, for however much time she has, I can make her happy at home. Masey has very selflessly offered to help as a CNA, whether she gets paid for it or not. I think it would be good if she got the contract for it, then she could stay at home. I want the best care for my mom. I’m considering getting my CNA just for that. I don’t know if its what she would want, or if its just that I’m not ready to let my Mom go. What I’ll Miss. We’ll never get to cook together again. I’ll never get to walk in that front door and hear her yell “Hellooooo”. She’ll never teach me a game, and laugh with me. We’d sit on the couch, watch TV, pass the bowl back and forth. Just joking, just being there with eachother. All the stupid little things she used to send me on messenger. Her little goodnight pictures on Facebook. The way she laughed. The light in her eyes. She had so much more life to give to me. I had missed so much already. She was supposed to be the grandmother to my child. The way my grandmother was to me. We had so many plans together. We thought we had so much time. It seems so sudden, sometimes it doesn’t even seem real. But all those things we wanted to do. That we used to love to do. Are gone. I owed her so much love. And she owed me so much time. I can’t believe all of it is gone.Who She Was. My mom was a hippie. Canadian. A witch. At times a Stoic Comedian. At times a Flamboyant little girl. She loved Chris Cornell. She loved old hippie music. She liked cooking shows, and cartoons. Hells Kitchen, Tom and Jerry, Scooby Doo. She loved collecting old nick-nacks. Little decorative pieces here and there. She never had enough space for it. An organized hoarder. She loved cats, she had 4 at the time. But her house never smelled dirty. She laid down a place mat on the floor to put the cat bowls on. She kept water in a bottle in the fridge so the cats got cold water. She fed them wet food every night so they would have a supper like her. Oliver, the orange one, was her little baby. He didn’t care for the other cats, and usually preferred to be by himself, he didn’t like other people much. But he’d sleep with Mom. Hugo is a big brute, he’s black and has a dainty meow. He would get so excited when mom pet him, he’d scratch her arm up hugging her. Gracie had a hard life and has some physical issues, but since moms had her she’s been outgoing and loving. She’s small and has long fur, but has this stare you’ll feel to your core. Ick, short for Ichabod. Is mom’s spirit animal. He loves her. He would curl up on her chest and lick her neck while she pet him. After she left, he’s been laying on her side of the bed watching TV.Mom was always the black sheep of the family. Everyone just expected her to be doing drugs and acting dramatic. When I knew her, she was calm and loving. She had a sense of humor. But she was strange in a good way, she was open minded and accepting to new things. She got along with my friends. Brian became one of her best friends, he’s my age. She loved to hang out with Masey and I. We loved to do new things together. We were just starting to watch Master Chef together. We said we’d wait to watch it together. What’s next. The next step in the process is to see if mom can breathe off of the vent tube. If she can’t then they’ll put her on trach, and she’ll be vent dependent for the rest of her life. If she’s unable to eat on her own, they’ll have to put a PEG tube in her to feed her. After that they’ll see if she’s able to be moved to a facility. Once she’s in the facility she’ll have to be there 6-9 months before DHS will start home health. We’ll have to get with Medisave to supply the equipment, and get a lawyer to get Guardianship over her. Her insurance should cover it. We’ll have control of her finances, which we’ll use only on her own expenses. via /r/SeriousConversation https://ift.tt/2HQHObA
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