Love After Lock Up - Cuffing Season

I don’t know how cuffs became an episode title here. I call this one Game Night.Chanda and Tyrice - I think we can all agree, we called this one at the bus station. Even Chanda said it was goodbye at the bus station. Electric Blue Slide refuses to give up his fashion statement and it sounds like he will have no problems replacing the blonde ghost. There is something creepy about Chanda’s smile - is she really even alive? Maybe that’s her secret - she really IS a ghost! Game - Pin The Tail On The Donkey. Winner - Chanda. Sadly.Scott Lauer and Lindsey Lowdown - Bi-polar much? She’s up, she’s down. One minute she’s calling the infamous Bureau of Prisons, the next it’s canceled. She loves Scott, she hates Scott. This girl is a master manipulator. Scott is also a master manipulator. He’s packing her bags and guilt tripping her, then begging her to stay. No wonder Miley Grace doesn’t have a bedroom ready! If they put as much energy into finishing the suburban Southern Gothic mansion as they do into pushing each other’s buttons....then the sky is the limit. And she still didn’t produce that book! Game - Chutes and Ladders. Winner - Tie game, remains in progress.Baby Boy and Jeffica Daniels - if only she hadn’t told him not to say anything. Baby Boy cannot keep a secret. No wonder he is on strike two! He must be like the people on First 48 that fold immediately under questioning. He loves to talk a good game but now we see if he can really convert those words into action. It was a bold move on Pop’s part to give him $1k AND let him see the drawer from which he pulled it out. Cut to talking head where Baby Boy has a half-baked idea to turn that $1k into $3k at a casino. Because, yeah, that happens so often. Game - Truth or Dare. Winner - for now, Baby Boy.Joliet Dylan and Juliette Lewis (Kalifornia!) Somehow, they survived a wild ride on the Tri-State Tollway and made it back to Aunt Diane’s. What the hell was that fright face she pulled when she thought Joliet Dylan was going to get his parole revoked. All of that action happened in his first 3 hours out!!! I would also like to point out, he was still in his state pants!!! He didn’t even get out of his prison garb until Juliette orgasmo got him back to Aunt Diane’s. Ahhhhh, the sweet sounds of sex in the kitchen. It seemed to thrill both Aunts! Game - 7 Minutes in Heaven. Winner - Juliette Lewis. And maybe Aunt Diane!Chief Crazy Truck and Halfway Runaway - First, can we please talk about those 1970’s Schwinn Handlebar covers he’s wearing on his braids? I had sparkling gold ones to match a sparkling gold banana seat and a giant sissy bar on my bike. But I digress. Second, I hope we all enjoyed the home decor in the long house. I know how comfortable I would feel moving into a house with a prominent display of Mike Meyers hockey masks and Freddy Kreuger gloves in shadow boxes. Will that little freak from Insidious pop out after dark? After bringing in Mother Half-Breath and TookTooMuch’s garbage bag suitcases into the long house, a smoke signal comes from Fort Moneypit! Halfway has escaped!!!! TookTooMuch refuses a tour of Dubuque fearing she might disappear into a wigwam and hit the peace pipe. Leaving his new lodgers at the long house, he heads out to find Halfway Runaway. They run into each other’s arms under the stark lights of the strip mall. He vows to run away with her to a non-extraditable country to drink Mai Tai’s! Enabler much? Game - Tag. Winner - right now, The Chief and Halfway!Crazy Eyes and the Stunned Mullet - Well, we open with the Mullet, alone, packing his bags and leaving the La Quinta. His only hope now is that Crazy Eyes shows up at the courthouse. He continues to tell himself the fairy tale about Princess Crazy Eyes even as she remains with his credit card in hand. We watch, tensely, as he paces in front of the courthouse with time to court ticking like a bomb in the background. With three minutes to spare, Crazy Eyes, her sister and mom pull in to the parking lot! All three roll out looking like they had one too many Adios Motherfuckers! Crazy Eyes took it right to the edge!! I really would have loved to have Hector there as a commentator! Crazy Eyes had to hold up the Mullet as his knees were weak with relief at the fact she made it to court, thus saving him $50k’s! Game - Chicken. Winner - Crazy Eyes!!!!By Monday, you can catch all my old summaries as well as new ones on my new Reddit thread - RealBitesWithRelish! All about the guilty pleasures we love to satirize! I’ll still be sharing here too bunkies! via /r/RealBitesWithRelish https://ift.tt/3ksOzis