AITA for not wanting my family to celebrate my birthday?

Throwaway account because I really think I might be the asshole. I'm not looking for validation either, I really don't know if I'm being unreasonable.I have this weird thing where I don't like celebrating my birthday. I don't like people knowing how old I am, or my birthday. I certainly don't want people celebrating it. Only a handful of people know my birthday. My wife knows this and has known this about me since we started dating. She still gets me a card and a gift, but i'd rather not get either.The last few years she started making cakes and wanting to sing happy birthday. She says it's for the kids, that they should be able to celebrate their father's birthday. This only stayed about 2 years ago, because that was the time my kids were old enough to start asking about my birthday. I used to respond vaguely, but my mother told them one time when she was visiting. When the kids give me gifts, like drawings or penny knickknacks, I thank them and tell them how much I like them and their gifts.So anyway, it's my birthday, and I come home from work. My wife comes home, rushes into the kitchen to try to bake a cake, frost and decorate it. I told her before and I told her as she was making it that I didn't want a cake. She said, it's not for you, it's for the kids.I went into another room and puttered aroundThen she called me in to sing happy birthday. I dragged my feet and didn't respond immediately. She asked again, and I came in. I was probably surly about it and made some comment about this being inappropriate, since she knows I don't want this. She reiterated that it's not right for the kids to not celebrate their dad's birthday. She started getting extremely upset, yelling at me and crying. I'm pretty sure I responded curtly as well. The kids obviously got upset seeing us fight. We did the happy birthday song, then I stormed off to the bedroom. I did not eat the cake.I see her perspective, but I feel like if I don't want a production made out of my birthday, that's my choice and it should be respected.We both feel like we're in the right and the other was out of line. She's waiting for an apology, which is ironic, as I think she was in the wrong. I'm sure she's discussed this with her friends and family, which irritates me more, as it means more people know my birthday.AITA? via /r/AmItheAsshole https://ift.tt/34FAwR3